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so i promised a real update......


i had a really good day today, for those of you who didnt read my earlier entry. for those of you who did, thank you for the comments :) i love comments. anyway....it was a really ironic day, cause last night and this morning i was looking at life, and what i want out of it. i mean, i chased this dream across the country....it was what i wanted for so long....and i still do, i mean, i love it. but how do we know exactly what we want out of life? and that we made the right decisions? i feel like everything happens the way its suposed to for a reason, but ever wonder what that reason is? i say i want to work for gap forever....that i want to go into merchandising and we joke that im going to own the joint.....but i just started wondering if this is it...this is life....not that its a bad thing....just something ive been pondering. could i see myself doing anything else? no...not really.....i used to want to be a doctor...but now i cant watch er without closing my eyes.....some doctor id make. do i want to go back to school? i think so....design? maybe...merchandising? probably a better idea. will it help me with work....yeah, i think so....but part of me wonders if i want to do it for the challenge it would present. i mean, my dad always said i had a type a personality....i used to laugh at him, but, i see it now. ive never been happy just sitting around, just doing one thing.....so then i get to work...and have a really good day, and it pretty much renewed my faith in things....yeah....definitely. what once was lost has now been found, or so i think.

on friday i got an email from someone looking to do what i did...make the move from the east coast and work in a store and move into the ma role at corporate. the first two have already been done....now comes the hard part. weve been trading emails for awhile, tips and whatnot....and im more than willing to help. i know what its like, when you face that world alone. no ones there to help you, cause really, they dont really care. anyway....i got another email, thanking me and letting me know how things stand...and that he talked to my recruiter. and she remembered me, and how he told her that i was his idol...cause of what i did....moving from the east coast and working in a store and then going to corporate. honestly, thats one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. i mean, i see myself as many things, and ive been many things....someones idol, that doesnt really come to mind...and then to have them tell you that? i mean, i cant really put into words how that feels.

and falling in love...again. and again. and again...and then when you think you cant possibly fall in love further, you do. its the little things. the text messages....inside jokes....small gestures....quiet nights.....date nights....long talks....

ok...thats it for now. next time i havent eaten in two days, stop me before i eat out the olive garden. my tummy hurts.....blah....i want to write, but im having issues with that right now....ill try to get something up tomorrow or the next day....

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2006 12:27 pm (UTC)
kimmy is happy....yay! and youve always been MY idol :-)
beantowngrlie
Jan. 24th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC)
:) :) yay for being happy.....i miss you.....i wish you were going to be home in may....then we could drink goldschlagger (or however you spell it) together....
mousie962
Jan. 24th, 2006 12:39 pm (UTC)
i envy you. i mean you moved and you KNOW you made the right decision. sometimes i wonder if i did. i dont love my job. i mean i do and i dont. i love my bosses, i love the nature of the job but i still dread going to work. i wonder if i'll ever be happy in the work field, i dont know. but imso proud of you for everything you have done since moving, its amazing.
beantowngrlie
Jan. 24th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
honestly, you dont know how much your comment means to me. i too wonder everyday what im doing and if ill be doing it for the rest of my life. i know that im glad ive done everything i have thus far. sometimes i just wonder where im going with it. i mean, i guess thats life...it falls into place and it falls out of place, and we dont know whats going to happen...and we cant...and in some sense, thats what makes life fun...the mystery of not knowing where we will be next year. youll figure out what you want to do, and i know that youll be great at whatever you choose.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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beantowngrlie
california dreamer
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