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best news ever

ok..well, not really...but today was quite the day. spent half of it in the office, which was pretty boring, other than an email that made me remember a story mousie962 told me.....and i laughed....and got asked what my deal was....trust me, you wouldnt understand it if i tried to explain. then we went to bubble lounge and had champagne....and wine....and a little food too. sarah and veronica taught me how to play blackjack. and we got free gifts....american express gift cards and the zaggat survey for san francisco. :) :) overall a fun day.

so then i get home, and theres a note in my door. im like saweet, the mold is gone :) oh wait...just kidding. (thats cool...i am SO getting more credit on my rent) the note is information on renewing my lease. and how it ends 3/31, and i can come down to the office to sign a new one when ever its convenient....WAHOO my lease is up. best apartment news ive gotten in a long time.

hmmm....whatelse....brooke called me today :) shes coming thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! two days...totally cant wait.

ok, thats it. im off to watch law and order...yay law and order...boo for prereview tomorrow.....but maybe i can fix the 'i feel like a wall' and the being bored all day.

ok...im posting the next chapter of my story.....i had some issues with this one. i just overall dont really like it. i LOVE the one with dad....i just dont think mom came out as well....anyway, check it out...let me know what you think

Sunday, July 4th

I love my bed. Really. The perfect mattress, just the right combination of soft and firm, an egg crate to make it cozy and give that feeling of being swallowed. I don’t think there’s a way to sleep uncomfortably in it. It’s the perfect size for sprawling, and god knows I love to do that. Crisp sheets, perfect for the sticky July weather, and a fluffy comforter at the foot, that’s perfectly engulfing for those cold winter nights. If there’s one thing I wish I could have brought to California, it’s my bed.
I start feeling the effects of my night out as I begin to wake up. My head hurts and I just have this overall feeling of awfulness, a feeling of awfulness that is magnified as I get out of bed. I don’t think my head has ever hurt this bad. Even after my 21st birthday. I pause to look in the mirror before I leave the room.
“You’re a mess.” I tell myself. But honestly, for the few hours I was able to forget everything and be normal again, it’s worth it. I sigh and leave the sanctity of my room for the craziness of the outside world.
I see my dad in his office as I approach the stairs. I pause for a moment to take him in. He wasn’t always able to work from home. It was usually just one day each week, if that, and he was confined to a desk and part of the counter downstairs. Nowhere near an ideal workspace. However, once I left, my parents didn’t see a reason to have an additional guest room, so they converted into an office for my dad. He looks so at peace in his bedroom converted office. Actually, my old bedroom converted office. When I was little, I switched rooms so many times, even I lost track of which room I was currently calling home. I used the roll top desk for awhile, back when I was in high school. Back when I thought I needed one. Who’d have thought I’d realize you can’t beat doing homework on the bed. I remember when he called me to tell me he was using the desk again, and how he’d found an old bag of cookies I had probably hidden there in 1997. I hear him on the phone now, and see through the half open door that he’s on the computer too. He’s always so hard at work, even on the 4th of July.
Not wanting to disturb him, I head down the stairs. As I make my way down them I can hear my mom in the kitchen. She’s yelling at my brother, something about getting dressed and cleaning up his breakfast dishes. Glad to know that some things will never change.
“Morning Allie”, she says upon seeing me, “And how did we sleep?”
I resist the urge to say bite me, cause honestly, that’s how I feel right now. “Like the dead.” I respond.
“You look like you’re dead.” My brother says as if on cue.
“And you look like you’re not dressed.” I retort. He sticks his tounge out at me and runs upstairs.
“Kyle!!!!” my mother yells after him. She looks at me and I just shrug my shoulders.
“At least he’s getting dressed now.” I respond.
“I’ve never understood how you get him to do that.”
“What? Stick his tounge out? That’s pretty easy.”
“You know full well what I mean Alexandra.”
“Yeah yeah.” I reply as I open the medicine cupboard and take out a bottle of Asprin.
“So, back to my original question, how did we sleep.”
“Back to my original answer…like the dead. And actually, Kyle isn’t too far off, I feel pretty dead.” I tell her as I fill a glass with water and down the Asprin.
“I hate to break it to you sweetie, you look pretty much dead.”
“Thanks mom,” I say as I move to the cupboard. I want crackers and water and that’s about it.
“No problem my dear, there’s bagels in the cabinet if you want one.”
“mmmm…hangover food,” I say as I grab the Ritz Crackers.
“I hope you didn’t have too much to drink last night.”
“And how much would that be?” I ask her.
“more than one”
“Ahh…yes,” I say as I hop up on the counter like I have since I was five. It used to drive her crazy, I think she’s given up now. Last time I was home, I saw that my habit had rubbed off on dad too. Oh the joy I felt when I saw him hop up on the counter. “I think I surpassed that in…oh the first two minutes we were there.” I spare her the details of the game, cause let’s be honest, she doesn’t want to hear about it any more than I want to tell her. “But Ryan was with me and he made sure I got home safely.”
She gets this smirk on her face…the one I call the mother smirk, the one that says I was young once too you know, but says nothing and continues her business in the kitchen.
“Remember when my sitting up here drove you nuts?”
“Drove as in past tense? Drives is the better word, Alex. You sitting up there drives me nuts. I just choose to ignore you, in my hopes that you’ll go away.”
“Ha! I’m going to sit here all day now. What do you think of that?”
“I think I need a drink,” she responds and takes out the chocolate milk. “Not the type of drink you were thinking of now is it dear?” she says with the slightest hint of sarcasm.
“What are you up to tomorrow?” I ask her as she pours the milk into the glass. I’m hoping she doesn’t have any plans, because unlike the meeting with Judge Howard, the hospital visit is not something I think I need to do alone. I hate hospitals. I would have run from my last hospital visit if Isabella hadn’t forced me to stay. Plus, it will make it more fun to watch her be grossed out by the blood draw.
“I don’t really have any plans. I scheduled your testing for 10. I figured that would give you some time to sleep in the morning, and you’d still have the rest of the day afterward.”
“Thanks. I mean, really. I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”
“Want me to go with you?”
Right there, I think is when I fell in love with my mother. I may be a daddy’s girl, but right then, my heart had my mother’s name all over it. She knows me better than I know myself, she knows I wouldn’t know how to ask her to go, but yet knows I want her there more than anything in the world. So she takes it upon herself to offer, knowing that for me, accepting an offer isn’t nearly as hard as asking the favor.
“What am I going to do?’, I ask, pulling my knees up to my chin. “What if it’s negative? I’ll feel like shit. Sorry, I’m your daughter, but I can’t help you. I’ve never been here for you before, and I can’t now. Aren’t you glad you kept me? But worse, what if it’s positive? What if I don’t want to go through with this? Does that make me a horrible person? I mean, she did give birth to me…she brought me into this world, but she got rid of me.”
“First of all, don’t say shit.”
“Always the mother, aren’t you?”
“That’s my job dear.”
“That’s just it. If this was you, or dad, or even Kyle, I wouldn’t think twice. But this is almost weird. I’ve never met her. Never a birthday card, never a Christmas card, and now you want a kidney? What is that?” Mom opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand, “I mean, I know she wasn’t supposed to contact me, but honestly, after 21 years, not only does she want to meet me, she needs a kidney too?”
“I know. I know this is strange, and backwards, and the last thing you want to deal with. But I honestly don’t think she means to hurt you. She just wants to live. And unfortunately, you might be a big factor in this. And you were nervous meeting her, imagine how she must have felt meeting you. The first time she’s seen you since you were a few days old, when she made the decision to give you up, a decision that whether or not she regrets, she’s had to face every day of her life. And she’s not only looking to meet you, she’s asking for a gift, a huge gift. And you hold the purse strings.”
I sigh, and my mother hugs my curled up form. “We’ll get through this Al, all of us. Look at all you’ve accomplished, all the times you’ve fallen and had to climb back up.”
I put my forehead on my knees, “I don’t feel strong. I feel like a mess.”
She lifts my chin so our eyes meet, “You’ll get through this. You’re strong. Have faith. Relax for today, get tested tomorrow, and then we can re-evaluate. And you feel like a mess because you are a mess. Go shower, you’ll feel better. I told Kyle I’d take him and a friend to Burger King later, you can come and keep me company.”
“Only you,” I say, half out of frustration, half out of relief. I’m glad that while she listened to my rambling and was able to give some advice, she also attempted to lighten the mood, which is exactly what I needed at that point, “would offer fast food as a consolation.”
“Perhaps, but doesn’t it make you feel good?”
“Oh yes”, I respond as I jump off the counter and head back towards the stairs. “Hey mom,” I call out before ascending the steps.
“yeah”, she calls from the kitchen.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 18th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
Jan. 18th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
i never check my email before work.....and for some reason, i did today.....can i just say im going to be laughing the whole way there.....and half the day..... :p
Apr. 21st, 2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
beantowngrlie, я бы такого звучного логина не смогла бы сама придумать – эт точно
Sep. 14th, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC)
beantowngrlie, Читаю Ваш пост: , и думаю: Газовая горелка f1 power Описание: ТЕХНИЧЕСКИЕ ДАННЫЕ: Мощность, Вт: 7000 Используемое бензин: одноразовые газовые картриджи Coleman C 250, C 500, смешение пропан(30%)/бутан(70%) Объем: 9х12х7 см Масса нетто: 0,133 кг В добавок: нежный чехол Артикул: 202662 Авторитет: 200 гр Изготовитель: "Coleman" Ныне бренд Coleman одинешенек из крупнейших изготовителей продукции для любителей энергичного образа жизни и отдыха на природе. Coleman появился возле 100 лет назад как изготовитель фонарей. В данный момент бренд предлагает собственным потребителям размашистый ассортимент многообразных товаров: мангалы, грили и печи для приготовления пищи на природе, различные светильники под газ и жидкое бензин, портативные морозильники, сохраняющие тепло до 5 дней, размашистый выбор палаток и рюкзаков, спальные мешки, матрасы, а также платье и обувь для туристов. Любой путешественник обнаружит у Coleman необходимый ему товар!
Sep. 15th, 2011 06:38 pm (UTC)
beantowngrlie, здесь http://latifa8.livejournal.com/7799.html интересная инфа. Читаю .
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


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